Wednesday, February 4, 2009


This post comes with a little warning for all of you sensitive types. If you don’t watch rated R movies because of the “naughty parts” or if you have used “oh my heck” in a just-so-darned-charming way within the last week, stop reading right now.
I see you are still with me so I will have to apologize for unfairly loading the expectation wagon. There is really nothing all that titillating or exciting coming, but I have to include the warning simply because it turns out I’m not exactly a good gauge of what will offend some people.

I got chastised today for cursing. I think I said something like "I'm not sure what the hell to think of that." And one of the guys in the room said, "we may be able to enjoy this conversation as soon as you stop cursing."

Honestly I didn't realize that saying "hell" was cursing. Not even in Utah. So, when I asked innocently, "Oh, sorry, did I curse?" the reply I got was "well yeah, you said heck."

I said, "I'm pretty sure I would never say heck." But what I wanted to say was, "there is no damn fucking way in hell I would ever say heck." Which would have sent half the people in the room into full-on cardiac arrest, but would have been extremely cathartic and exhilarating for me.

Oh, and about those "naughty parts." Isn't everyone really just waiting through the other parts so they can get to the naughty parts? Don't pretend that's not true or I might be forced to say hell again.


Natalie said...

Oh my heck, wendy! i can't friggin' believe you said that dang word!

Bebe said...

LOL! I said DAMN on my blog today. I guess I've offended as well. Let's start a club!

TravelByTurtle said...

One of the positives about being male is that one is somewhat expected to profane a bit.
When I said 'hell' at a meeting at CHQ it had the desired effect of getting everyones attention and being an accurate reflection of my state of mind.
Bowing to propriety however, when it turns out I was the last person at the office to speak to my collegue (he passed away that day of a heart attack) and he told me as he was leaving early, "I feel like shit", I lied to his bosss later and said only that he'd said 'I don't feel well' and those were the 'last words' circulated to staff and family. Kinder of me, though not honest. Ah well, give with one hand, take with the other. I guess he really did feel like poop!

nic said...

Wendy, you make me laugh, thank you. You are so refreshing!

Cornish Pal said...

Wendy, when I was very young - like 6 or 7 - my uncles would drop by to visit my mom. As they sat around the table, I remember them laughing and laughing, pounding on the table and having a good old time. But their conversations were always sprinkled with the words "hell," "damn" and "shit." So, one day, I mentioned this to my mom who responded, "Oh, well, we are from Idaho and those words aren't swear words up there." LOL.

So, there ya go, free pass.

Anonymous said...

Who the f&*# told you to stop? Only in Utah.

DeLaina said...

ROFLMBO-(B is for bum, because the word that rhymes with cut is way too naughty for me, and don't even think about replacing the B with an A like all those foul-mouthed Gentiles do. I don't care if they say it on The Office or not, it's just not right unless you're referring to a donkey. And even then it's crass.) Ha haaaaa!!!

I heart you and wish I could've been there when you dropped a heck bomb at work.