Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Don't Speak to me of Liquor

I went into Utah County today to vote and decided to stop in on a new bakery in Highland at the bottom of the hill. I was hoping to make another quick stop for some wine for an election victory toast, so I asked the girl at the bakery if she could tell me where the nearest liquor store was. Her eyes got wide and she looked at me blankly as if I was speaking some strange foreign language. I just waited, until finally it dawned on her what I was asking. With an adamant shake of her head, she leaned over to the girl on the cash register next to her and whispered in that stage whisper usually reserved for words like cancer or homosexual, "Do you know where the nearest liquor store is?"

I tried to soften the blow a little by helpfully adding "a wine store," thinking it might be the word liquor that was causing all the alarm.

Girl #2 just looked up incredulously, assessing me as if she was trying to figure out what sort of a person would ask such a question. With a solemn shake of her head, she walked back to the young guy bagging bread and whispered something in his ear while pointing at me. I looked down, suddenly feeling a little ashamed like I had just asked where the nearest crack dealer could be found.

He yells back to two other people working in the store, but neither of them had any idea either. So, they send someone to the back to ask a couple other people who shook their heads and proclaimed loudly that they have "absolutely no idea where the liquor store is."

Finally, overhearing the exchange, a sophisticated older woman standing in line next to me leaned over and said she thought the nearest one was the one in Draper.

Yes, Draper.

I know exactly where that one is.

So, I drove out to the freeway and over the Point of the Mountain, back to Salt Lake County to my obviously heathen town of Draper. Not exactly a worth-while trip. It turns out, the liquor store is closed on election day. Well, I can understand that. We wouldn't want anyone to be drunk while voting in Utah. They might just accidentally vote for a Democrat.


Bebe said...

Hey, even I know where the local liquor store is! I'll be heading there first thing tomorrow to buy supplies to get me through the next four years! JK

KC said...

I might not have known where the nearest liquor store was, but I would have told you that you could not purchase strong drinks there on election day.

KL said...

Too funny!!! I heard on the WY radio yesterday that there were two states left that did not sell liquor on election day, and Utah was one of them!!! Apparently the law was passed back in the days of the prohibition?!

I guess it is as strange as the Utah law that you can't hunt elephants in Utah. Go figure!!

Guess next time you can come to WY! We have drive through liquor stores. No need to even get out of the car. (Which ironically, we have the highest deaths caused by DUI's!)

Olivia said...

Bebe: You won't need those supplies for anything but cooking, you'll see.

KC: Thanks for the warning! How is it that you know more about strong drinks than I do?

That's funny KL, because there doesn't seem to be a shortage of GOP elephants in Utah to hunt.

CornishPal said...

I was drunk when I voted two days earlier in the early voting sessions and no one seemed to mind.

DeLaina said...

Sweetie-using the word "liquor"-in Utah Cty of all places-IS speaking a foreign language!!!